Body Language Expert

Our brains perform an enormous number of tasks every second we are alive. Your brain controls your heart rate and breathing. It maintains your blood pressure. It receives a deluge of information from your five senses and can process it almost as fast as it takes it in. Your brain allows you to walk, talk, stand, sit. Your brain gives you the ability to ponder, fantasize, reason, dream, and emote. All of this comes from an organ which has the size and appearance of a small cauliflower. However, it also has billions of nerve cells which enable us to think, strategize, communicate, imagine, conceive and so much more. 

The brain is divided into two hemispheres, the left hemisphere and the right hemisphere. These two hemispheres are connected via a layer of cells called the corpus callosum.

Interestingly, the entire right half of the body, excluding the right eye, is connected to the left brain and the entire left half of the body, excluding the left eye, is connected to the right side of the body. In essence, the body and brain are cross wired. 

The eyes are slightly different. The left half of your visual field is connected to the right brain and the right half of your visual field is connected to the left brain. Huh??? Well, simply put, if you are looking straight ahead, everything to your left goes into your right brain and everything to your right goes into your left brain. 

The left brain is where real language is processed and is typically more dominant in: reading, writing, speaking, math and logic. You can think of the left brain as a powerful computer. 

The right brain is where body language is processed and is dominant in: identifying familiar faces, recognizing expressions and emotions, interpreting melodies and music and deciphering body movement. The right brain is also responsible for sending and receiving tactile information. It is in the right brain that we may discern a scream of pain from a sound of nature. The right brain is where we recognize patterns, art and shapes.

Now, what is the significance of all this and how does it apply to YOU? Well, this little tidbit can be used when first meeting someone or when trying to persuade someone to see things from your perspective. Here is how it works:

Studies show that the left brain is far less volatile and emotional than the right brain. In other words, the left brain is logical and the right is emotional. Knowing this, you should opt to monitor where you stand so you can be sure what you are viewed in the best possible light. For example: For the vast majority of us, meeting someone for the first time is usually slightly uncomfortable or unsettling, we tend to be more nervous which can trigger a negative response. In order to avoid our conversant from feeling this response when meeting us for the first time, we should stand across from them slightly to their right activating their left and logical brain. In other words, line up your right eye with their right eye. By doing so, you are afforded the opportunity of having a "real" evaluation instead of one biased by negative emotion.

This changes once the initial contact is over. Why? An opinion is already formed. Now, once you know this individual, you want to work on the side of the brain which controls your ultimate goal. So, if you are trying to convince someone of something business related to logical, again, you want to stand to their right and activate the left brain. By doing so, your argument, opinion, or position will make more sense. However, if you are trying to persuade someone on an emotional issue, you want to stand to their left and activate their right brain - the emotional brain. Keep in mind, everything to the right of an individual is taken into the left brain and everything to the left in taken into the right brain. Therefore, any emotional requests, (Honey, can we pleeeease go away this summer), should be spoken to the right brain. 

This may seem slightly confusing, it becomes easier to understand over time. The important thing to remember is this:

To influence someone EMOTIONALLY, sit or stand to their LEFT and align your LEFT eye with their LEFT eye. 

To influence someone INTELLECTUALLY sit or stand to their RIGHT and align your RIGHT eye with their RIGHT eye.

When meeting someone for the first time, stand to their RIGHT and align your RIGHT eye with their RIGHT eye.

Sometimes, it is the little things that make all the difference in the world.

If this is still confusing, please feel free to email or call me. 

Share these ideas with others at work and in your personal life. Your friends can sign up for my weekly newsletter here at:

Tonya Reiman, author of "Above the Fold Newsletter" is available as a speaker for corporate and trade association meetings. Contact Tonya at (631) 366-5701 or email:

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Tonya Reiman

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