I have a friend whose name I will not print, you know who you are Sammy J. Sorry. Anyway, Sammy is on the slightly small side yet I find everytime we are out together, he will start trouble with people  and usually with people several inches (if not feet) taller than he. He is a modest sized man who thinks he's a lot bigger than he really is. 

Why do I tell you this? A lot of us, including Sammy, rely on a self image that does not always match our actual appearance. This in turn can be extremely detrimental to our everyday life and sometimes to our career and position potential. It's wonderful if you are a 4 on a scale of 1-10 and think you are a 5 or a 6, thinking slightly higher than you are is self esteem building. However, it is not so good if you are a 4 and think you are a 2. It is how we view ourselves that really establishes how successful we will be when we are interacting with others. If you are a 4 and believe you are a 2, you lack the necessary confidence to work with people. Of course, the flip side if you think you are a 10 when you really are a 4, you are oblivious to your own shortcomings which will force people to examine your work ethics and your professionalism or lack thereof. 

How can you uncover the truth about how you come across? Easy. Allow someone to videotape you when you feel you are at your best. Ask those you care for most to be truthful with you about your appearance, the impression you make, and what they like and don't like about the way you come across. This might be a tough thing to do and you will probably have to be prepared for some criticism. On average Americans rate themselves appearance wise a 7 out of a possible 10. I have news for you, some of us are wrong.  We can't all be above average, however, most of us think we are more attractive than we actually are. 

The good news? Now you can use your own as well as others' sincere opinions to change aspects of your appearance that give off the wrong impression, and feel good about yourself.

Is Image Everything?

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Tonya Reiman

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Body Language Expert




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